i know you're out there somewhere

i'm not having a good day so far... I'm fucking depressed for the moment. i'm sad, i'm frustrated, i'm pissed, i'm a whole bunch of things that have negative connotations and this is where martin surfaces and i let him take over but fuck him and the horse that he rode in on! this gotta be like a nightmare or something but i know that it's not, and i really don't believe i'm in the matrix so... but at the same time i keep going through the same situation over and over again and it's crazy because when i say i know whats coming i really do. i just took the iniative and said it as opposeed to letting them make all of the moves this time.