keep on pushing...

couldn't go to sleep last night and i don't really know why... i was definitely tired enough! i stayed up all night wondering about whether or not i was going to cut my hair. i know i'm over due for at least a line up on both the hair on my head and my facial hair. then i thought maybe i'd try to go a year without a hair cut but i know i would want to get it cut way before a year is up. i' might go tomorrow because i have to find a job. i would like to get one on campus but i'm not sure if that'll work. i have no classes on tuesday and only one lab on thursday my day starts at 10'10 am and ends at 3'20 mwf's and i believe that to be a decent schedule seeing that there were hardly any classes open! now that it's too late for me to actually go to sleep i wonder... just maybe... if i'm going to take things more serioius this year? i mean, there's no class that i can't make an a in if i applied my self and worked to my potential and thats a fact. the thing is what will motivate me to do so? second to my grades i think i'm going to do a lot of working out this year because south's baseball team is pretty good so the gym is like state of the art and all that good stuff and south has a pool! i don't think many people at cu have acutally seen me in the water so i think that the lil fitness nuts would actually be shocked at my aqautic abilities. i love to swim and i couldn't see my self not starting there to get in shape... it works your entire body from your neck to your ankles... even the toes if you do it right! your longs can grow stronger and bigger, your mucles longer and leaner, and you can learn to focus your mind all while enjoying a swim. i've also given it a lot of thought and i've come to the conclusion that it's a wrap on the whole sundae situation. i've come to the conclusion that we'll make good friends and be cool forever and all that good stuff but even if this (whatever it was) happened again and she was really fell for mre i don't think it would be wise to pursue it. Time is definitely a great teacher and i think i'm starting to learn my lessons though it is a little late. i don't mind the whole confusion and frustration but it's the longing for more that's the real problem... if you know all that you have then you don't have much, i heard that from a real life pimp. I think he was kinda right. it's so hard for me not to type sundae into my phone and press the green button but i've reviewed my call log and it wasn't there just now (progress, though it's small)... but we did text back and fourth saturday night and it was a weird ass convo... it started with a dream about her falling and i couldn't catch her... i woke up sweating. she must've have fallen a thousand times and no matter what i did i couldn't catch her. now i'm like oh well, but i bugged me for hours after i woke up. i guess the biggest thing is i wouldn't have thought i'd ever be here. i'd rather be skating on thin ice again laughing the night away with her, talking about what i'd do and all that good stuff that makes a dude smile when he's all by him self... but, as for now...