i never liked novacaine

what i don't want... hmm, i guess is to go numb. think about it yall, for those of you who know me, what if i was a numb person, like feeling wise. what if i only laughed out because someone else was experiencing something bad? what if people spoke to me and i didn't speak back or even acknowledged them? what if i did what most niggers do, get girls to have sex with me and then toss them aside? what if i always asked for stuff as opposed to working hard to earn it? what if peopole said no and i took what i wanted? what if people asked me for help and i gave them none... see what i'm getting at? i have a lot that i think about because i've thought about being the person most people would consider the asshole. thought about it but won't do it... better yet i can't do it. It's not my role to play. i always think to myself what is it that i'm supposed to be doing here on earth. i mean if i were another person, what would i see in Doug j.? how am i perceived by others... i'd really like to hear the worse of the worse first though because i know that i have work to do as far as improving on me. i don't deny it but i'm cool with it because i know i'm human. then i'd like to hear from the people who talk to me the most. i wanna know who thinks i'm cool and who doesn't. all of that plays through my head. i can't tell you how many times i see my self strolling through the kitchen in my home, telling my kids to stop running as they whiz by me, and saying something sweet (in my own crazy way) as i pour a glass of orange juice for myself. the thing is i'll never get to that point if i go numb... i'm just sure of it... (whistles a lil tune that's made up on the fly)

yall tell me what does a river, a torch, and i have in common? think before you answer (leaving it to your imaginations is more of a mind stimulation).