dunno 2

well, my floor is clean and i have a basket full of dirty clothes and i might wash em throughout the night if i stay up though i'm feeling tired at the early hour of 11pm central time zone. The closet is the daunting task out of everything because i'm not sure what i'm gonna find and what i'll have to sort through... i'm actually thinking about getting a small book shelf or one of those big plastic containers because i have quite a few books that are scattered all over the place... i'm thinking about acuall putting my bed all the way in the corner, sliding the entertainment system all the way up against the adjacent corner, putting the mini fridge next to that, putting my new dresser next to the bed, and then going from there because that would give me a lot more room...i just don't wanna go through the closet because there are a lot of clothing in there and i don't feel like going throuth there... i already see about three pair of shoes that have to go, and that aing gonna get it. my winter clothes need to def be upgraded and allt that good stuff... it's just not looking good for me right now even though i could def put together a dope outfit i'd still have to replace a ton of stuff that's definitely not what's hot! i might need to put a pot of coffee on for this one... if you up please hit me up for morale support cause i'ma need that...

dunno

i've been away for a brief minute but i'm back with not much to say. My room is dirty so i'm bout to clean that up and fold all my clothes and hang the rest up... then i'll have to clean out my closet once and for all and clean out my old dresser so that i can get the new one in. I've been interviewed for a real job at the car dealership, but the people who take and handle payments. i hope i get called back on tuesday, but i'm definitely looking for something cause i have stuff i really wanna do... i've been having some "mr. james" like dreams here lately and i actually woke up expecting someone to be next to me saturday morning... joke was on me though! i'm bout to start learning more of my mom's baking recipes and i might actually get a lil bake sale popping cause i'm good at it, it kinda runs in my family to be able to cook (on my mom's side anyway). i've been having writer's block not because i don't have good material but because i can't focus on anything to write on lately. i'm taking all applications, that is if you want me to write on a specific topic that just came across your mind just hit me on facebook in my inbox or something and then i should be able to focus on your specific topic (hopefully). Anyway, i was thinking about how i look in the mirror without my hair being combed and my face being brushed and i look like a bum. But when i get a line up and my beard trimmed, i look professional and fly and what not... then when i actually dress right... well let's just say women look. this 30 something year old lady hit me with a classic line when i went in at my job interview... she was like "don't i know you from somewhere?" I said "no mam" and she kept on and i was like "i'm only 19 but you might be confusing me with one of my brothers" she smiled and said "maybe..." i'd be lying if i said i'd be scared to be trapped behind closed doors with her cause she seems smart and on top of that she looks really good and faintly reminds me of alicial keys... so that means she can get it... but i know other people who need to dawn the shorts and arrange a reandevous with Mr. James... and i'm out on that note cause i gotta clean my room but my cell phone is on...

Mr. James

i take a deep breath before i knock on her door.
"knock, knock, knock!"
the echo of each knock chases each other in a friendly game of tag for what seems like minutes.
she comes to the door in her shorts and t-shirt, along with a smile meant only for me.
she grabs me by the hand and leads me inside, closing... and locking the door behind me.
the thought of my personal space being invaded was one of pleasure on this occasion.
there's low music in the background and i'm pretty sure it's slow but i'm not listening to it.
a perfect amount of perfume envelopes this dream, woman, but she is the one that's intoxicating!
she and i hadn't seen each other in months and we couldn't stop smiling.
as i smiled, i thought about all of the phone conversations (especially the break-ups), the back sliding, the laughter, the playful threats, and other things as well.
those were conversations for the phone and she was right here in front of me. for so long i fought a lot of the things that were supposed to make me a james, but not tonight, not right now!...
to be continued...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i don't think i'd ever been this focused on one person in my life, i only desired to make every move the right one. as she led me through a path that she knew from memory alone, i began to think about what was going to happen and i had all of the feelings that an 8 year old would have on the morning of christmas. her hips worked as a perfect pair of seducers and i watched so intently i barely missed her heel when she stopped and opened her bed room door. despite my clumsiness, my hands knew exactly what to do as they gently placed themselves on both sides of her waist and before i knew it the engine of this love train pulled me into our final destination for the evening. her room had a bed and that's as far as my eyes got, i couldn't even tell you the color of the pillows. i took my shoes off near the door and my shirt too. she smiled at me as she walked over to the bed. she removed the pins from her hair and it fell to about her shoulders and i love shoulder length hair! our eyes met as i appoached her and we embraced each other with the most passionate kiss possible that left the both of us gasping for oxygen. But we kept at it and i remember running my fingers through her silky hair as i layed her down onto the bed. i placed my hands upon her stomach and started sliding them down, down, down to the top of her shorts and they folded upon them selves until they were off of her...
to be continued shortly...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
now that we were past the greetings and were serious about doing "this", whatever this is, she grabbed my belt and unfastened it and my jeans fell to the floor like the lifeless article of clothing that they were. the bulge in my boxer briefs grew as she placed her hand upon it. she looked at me with the most lustful eyes whispering the question "is this for me?" and my lips answered "especially!" what followed was nothing short of ecstasy; so many kisses, so many positions, so many promises... hours passed at the same rate of seconds and finally we were without energy. This was everything that i thought it would be and more. she lay in my arms looking at me and i lay gazing looking at the breaking dawn outside the window. "where do we go from here?" she asked and listened for the answer intently. I replied, "i don't know but you've trusted me to the greatest extent a woman can trust a man and i wouldn't do anything to hurt you!" i grabbed her hand and interlocked it with mine and looked her in her eyes. She beamed her angelic smile at me and then we fell asleep...

lego life pt. 1

i think i'm bout to go over board with this whole change stuff yall. For starters 4 of my 5 meals a day will probably be consist of cereal or oatmeal with fruit or fruit juices. i'm thinking about walking in the morning and the evening for at least a mile and not eat anything after 730 pm... and that time will come up to about six thirty in october. i'm gonna limit carbs and anything that is high in sugar, salt, or cholesterol. i love meat so i think i'm gonna have baked, broiled, and grilled seafood, and poultry on deck at all times. red meats maybe once a week... i need to loose some weight. the only soda i'll be drinking is coke zero and no tea. i'll be using a lot of splenda because i have to have coffee. i'm trying to up my fiber intake as well as my vitamin and mineral intake also so that i can loose weight in a healthy way. i'm gonna try to have intense workouts every other day out side my usual walks in the morning and evening. like maybe an intense 10 to 15 minute routine that works everything but it'll be over quick. And i'm job huntinga and there are some nice opportunities out there but i have to write a resume which looks very frail on paper but my references will clear that up if they decide to check em out. And i can't really put the intangibles down on paper either, which sucks because i'm actually a hard worker when it's a job and people pay me to do something. I should have my resume in circulation by the end of the day and with any luck i should have an offer by the end of the week because i'm ready to get my life together... yall really don't know the half! running in neighborhood gutters for her? you might be surprised, but maybe not! I don't expect any one to get that but if you do hit me on face book and i'll let you know if you're right. i don't know what i'm bout to do but i'm really hungry so i might go handle that...

purely from my mind to my finger tips/ 100% doug, no fillers

first i'd like you to play the song that i've found for you because everyone can appreciate good music even if you don't like the genre. this a nice lil tune that caught my ear and relaxed me when i was thinking about all of the stuff that is on my mind. this is one of the best to do it and without any further typing on my part the legendary John coltrane (que for clapping)

i just got back from what was supposed to be my first party of the year but there were other things in the work call it fate! i went to scoop up my accomplices; laura, josh, and kourtney; but my phone's screen went snow white and wouldn't respond so i took my chip out and broke it in half. that's right, no more black jack for dougie, i might get the black jack II but i don't know yet. first thing i'm getting monday by 5pm is a job so that i can become independant. Plus i gotta go to bham soon to record with the fam. that's the pre road trip though, i'm going back to CU for 4 days... homecoming weekend. the get there on the 20th and leave that sunday. I don't know what my parents are gonna say but what can they say if i got my own bread... they can kick me out but i doubt it will be that dramatic. If you mean anything to me i will try very hard to grace you with my presence since it will be a while before i come back. I want accomplice #3 to come with, but i hope walter don't trip (he scares me)! But back to tonight. We were supposed to go to pensacola to what else, a sigma party, but the whole phone situation came up and we couldn't get it together but i got my mom's phone and we ended up going downtown which was fun and refreshing! next was food, though i wasn't hungry. we spend about 20 mins at krystals because somebody needed more money so i ended up being broke after that, it was only $3.00 but it was the last in my pocket and i didn't mind cause i know they'd do it for me. i Chained smoked 2 blacks in the parking lot, and yes i still have that chest cold... i'm not the brightest person but oh well. then we went back to the grove (new dorms at south alabama) and downed some smirnoffs and they played spades while i watched and cracked jokes... one person was tripping at first but she got it together. then we called g and she was cooking and i talked to her for a while and i should be engaged by 21 and married by 22 at the rate things going... my love life is a roller coaster! if yall didn't know, i don't date cause it's too expensive. I chill with people and feel them out and go from there. I think i have about 3 people on the list of people i would possibly marry with more time with them just seeing how we mesh and the people on that list are all good people but if i had to jump off a cliff for them i don't think i'll do it just yet! Work harder canidates, good black men are rare, show me what you working with!!! this whole night was a joy, even the part where my phone quit, because it lead to other things that i enjoyed. We're gonna run it back next week but more organized and more action packed... Just so yall know i have some dope friends and i wouldn't trade them for anything. (i'm thinking something to my self but i don't know if i should put it up here at this particular time... so i won't for now. I've been going back and fourth in my mind about the whole thing and trying to understand what's really going on is like trying to catch smoke. like i said, i don't like to assume things but i think i'm getting a better understanding of the situation and the people involved in it. i'm kinda like that guy from psyche, i have all the pieced but i just don't hit me until something connects all the pieces... It's gonna be a long time before... well like i said, i don't wanna put it up now so let me think on it and then i'll drop that bomb on yall later)Now, all i need is to lay back and let sleep get me so i can clean up the house tomorrow. *couldn't decide on one title so appreciate them both*

Who am I

who am i to...
want her to take a chance on me with one of her most valuable assets, her heart?
ask her to make hard decisions that will possibly produce frustrations, worries, or satisfaction?
ask her to give me a chance when i've done nothing to deserve one?
to want her to make time for me in the chaotic schedule that is her life?
want her to be exclusive to someone who is so far away from her most of the time?
then, i got to thinking... (like you didn't see that one coming) there's only one question that needs an answer before the others should even be considered...
who am i to her?

hurricane-day

Gustov came and went with no real boom to me, personally! I know that other areas were flooded out and ripped apart and i'm sorry about that. We got a lot of rain and a lot of wind, the power went out for the less than the length of my mid-morning nap, and the cable went out for a couple hours but thank god for dvd's. My mom cooked the usual breakfast she cooks when everybody's here. Some grits (to g, very tender grits), bacon and sausage (pick your poison), scrabled eggs, and toast (make your own) with homemad jam (she makes it and it's the best you'll ever taste)!! i went back to my room and thougth about a lot of stuff while there was nothing to really do and weighed some of my options while i was up to nothing. Later, my brother johnny and his family came over and brought dinner with them. It was kinda tasty and i enjoyed it. My cough is persistant but i'm on some mucinex md, and some anti-biotics to help knock it on out of me. I'm craving some tea but there is none around, and i want some starbucks so i hope it's open tomorrow. I'm watching i wanna work for diddy and it's crazy but i think i could actually work for him. So... I was talking to a friend yesterday and i was sad as hell because she was here in mobile for a sec this summer and we didn't get to see each other and just talking to her was an enchanting moment for me. There was a smile that just wouldn't leave my face and i couldn't really help my self. I love the girl, she'll always be a good friend of mine, even if we have adverse moments. outside of that nothing has really been up with me. bored outta my mind as usual, but i'm working on that... (sinister grin)! Yall be cool and keep an eye out for whatever's next... ima try to get a solid chapter of an eye full of sand up for yall really soon!