a.r.a.n. 4 w/side note

... i just wanna let you know that i'm the safest bet in 09'... there's too many things in 10' that depend on what i do in o9' for me to not be on top of everything this year. first off, i really wanna return to claflin in 2010 so that i can rejoin my friends and cross those burning sands where i feel at home first and foremost. a very slim second is i feel like i gotta redeem my self a little since i kinda dropped the ball in 08'. i have to care less about what i want to do and just get what i have to get done accomplished. i'm in the friend making mood so i'll be meeting new people and living a lot more in o9, first road trip will probably be to UAB this year but i will be at Claflin in the spring. i can't wait no more, i've had my little slum time but since people having been passing and i've had a little bit of time to try and mature a little more, i realize that i'm a grown african american male in a harsh society. i can't afford to look for sympathy form others, god blesses the child who has his own right? so in 09' i'm making moves for independence. i want to have enough money where i can help out with the house, get a decent car that IS MINE, actually pretend that i care about my comic, novel, and music writing, get into shape. i don't wanna loose my big guy charm, i just wanna be able to play basketball for an hour without being toatlly wiped out. i've started but the recovery time is like 4 days so that means i'm trying too hard right now and i have to pace my self. i'm gonna be walking around the neighborhood a lot more and basically boil, bake, broil, grill, stew, and any other method of cooking besides fried foods. less than half my meal will be meat and i will eat a lot more fruits and veggies in 09'. i'm bout to eat way more fruits seeing as how they're tasty and the human body can use them efficiently, soda is out in 09'. it's all about water these days (tea and coffee will be flowing as well, but way more water though)... i'm growing the dreads still, i'm trying to just be weary from success in o9...

side note

i will say that my heart remains yours for now, but it's up for lease seeing as how there is an electrified fence around "that situation" and doesn't seem like we'll be making it past that hang up anytime soon. i'm really flattered that you feel the way you do about me, that you wondered what if once upon a time, that my emotions weren't the only ones on that yo-yo, and that you even start breaking down a wall or two these last couple of weeks but it's not enough for me. i'm way more patient that i seem but, it's really sagittarius like to never be satified no matter how much progress has been made towards a certain goal. you're simply amazing and i want you to know that i'm always wishing the best for you and yours and even though you might not get it, you can have it... lol. so many words... thoughts... all about you. but, i _____ __ __ ____ _____. hopefully i'll be writing more poetry in 09 that's not grief related and share it with my blog readers. but until then, be safe, be cool, and be who you wanna be in 09!