things will never be the same

so... what's good blog world? been thinking bout a lot of things latley. god, fam, health, bad habits... all that jazz. early sunday morning one of my uncles passed away and it's not bothering me nearly as much as it will saturday when i go down to florida and see the body in the casket. he was a member of kappa alpha psi, hold head nupe! lol. cool dude all around. if you ever needed anything he'd get it for you, not to mention his house is like a dream vacation spot.... game room, big open kitchen, lazy boys with the big screen. pond out back if you wanted to fish and he wasn't far from the beach. i didn't learn his real name until i was like 10 years old. we'd all call him uncle sunny. well, mardi gras is coming up and uncle sunny would always make his way back home for mardi gras. catch so many beads his neck would ache... sip some crown and coke and he'd always be ducked off somewhere taking a nap when there wasn't a parade. a couple years ago it was bay bruh, and a couple months before that it was aunt yvonne so you can see how mardi gras is feeling a lot different than it did say 5 years ago. but it's all good. a lot of the younger generations in my fam are having kids and taking them to the parades. it's kinda like tradition. mobile, al did mardi gras first and i'd like to think we did it right. famly oriented, nothing over the top... the adults can hit the clubs and after-parties along with all the balls and ceremonies that come with this time of year.

tonight i made a really tough choice and it really hurt to do so... i thought about it, and thought about it... went back and forth on the issue at hand and came to the conclusion that me and sundae just can't be friends. i really want to be her friend, but i can't. it's not satisfying and i've tried very hard not to be selfish. i completely understand what the situation is and i don't like it. i won't even pull a hollywood movie scene and make an ultimatum cause it's unfair and would strain the friendship. i think she'll take it the wrong way if i totally delete her from my friends on fb, but she's been hid... i don't see her in my feed, and she can't chat with me cause she's on that list with the dog wars and naruto people... i'm always off line to them. deleted her number from my phone and all the messages from my in and out boxes... i don't remember it so there will be no more calls/texts. i don't want to say good bye because i know she'll sound cool about it... might even be cool about it and it will only make me feel worse... on some cee lo type ish, i'd like to say i could imagine how she'd take this all but in all honesty i have no clue. she was the one exception to the foundation of the naked movement... but... not any more. it's not gonna be easy, because i've liked her for a while, lb and g say i love her and at this point i believe it. it aint gotta be easy, not many things worth much in life are easy, but this torch is being extinguished and i refuse to light it alone ever agin... naked