L-factor (formerly named "10 lines prior to a thought")

i'm looking forward to not going back
while appreciating this instead of wishing for that
getting high off of not being so down
and understanding how silence can be a thundering sound

i've kept some ignorant to the things i've known
and exposed some to how sheltered i've become
my laying low has led to new heights
and my basking in the sun has turned to bathing in the pale moon light

you can take what you will but i'm giving my all
my pen may lie but my spirits will never fall

it took me minutes to work out how i was gonna make this poem work but i think i pulled it off alright and i just wanted yall to know that i'm still around but i've just had an issue or two to let work their selves out and they have. i'm really going on the prowl because i have to meet more girls because the ones i've known are not getting it for me and thats the uncontested truth. i'm not even upset because i've been knowing how things were gonna turn out for a while. I feel like i just got divorced but i have no choice (i perceive that i have no choice so if it is contested people may feel what ever they like) in the matter. I'm not brave enough to tell people how i really feel because i'm pretty sure i would alter (i really mean destroy) friendships and leave people mumbling how they don't understand... and just that they don't understand is a clear indication of some of the bullshit that needs to be addressed. of course i'm not the same person i was a year ago, are you? i'm fiending for someone to keep it real with and who will give me they're all even when it's hard and they don't know how we'll make it becuase i'll be right there with them making things the way they should be. i'm gonna leave yall with this thought: i'm not for everyone to understand because i know what love is and HOW TO love and love is an intangible variable that transcends comprehension!