closer than you think

we were laying in bed, i recall it from my mind

i smiled with defiance because right then

i knew perfection, and it was fine

not almost, not another hope in the wind

beside me was she, and she is my friend.

not just a friend, at all times, something greater

a reflection i knew vaguely, love from my creator

something to savor

one i regret leaving

a strong black woman, though gentle enough to soothe a little one, irritated by teething

gracious enough to beat that day

knowing the next is when we would lose

to circumstance

and a time frame that shattered all too soon

but i remember the imagery it held

until a new one makes itself

i'll be marching around the edges of hell

only half beats in me, a whole beat is another tale.

the wanting

optimus when i rhyme

fuck a prime like the fallen speech

all sparks when i grind, tank tread for feet

trampaling samsons cause they caving in

power cut off, pussy conquering men like his demons from within

falling angels used to make for such

twisting you heart over such and what

if if was a fif we'd be pouring libations

celebrating revelations cause heaven would come to us

we'd be children of who demonstrating true creation

what we doing?

at war with self

squeezing the life outta love when it comes to help

fresh to death is an understatement

instead of gold we want platinum pavement

cause heaven aint enough just to earn such

if those around can't discern us

from the bum on the corner who the butt of jokes

burden of the beast, scapegoats in yokes

niggas scared cause they catch reflections

off a halo

death always makes for contemplation

but when the flesh calls out

passion blisters

and when god calls home he gon deal with cha

at least that's what he promised

if you don't think he honest, that's something

our down fall is everything more than nothing

and the wanting.

question what you wanting.

a carpenter's cup, or an adorned fountain.

hoes aint shit

i know hoes aint shit

i don heard it in a whole bunch of lines

where niggas was lying bout how the spend they time

except about time spent poorly

sorely, and calloused, voices reiterate

hoes aint shit but still hoping to penetrate

my mistake homie, party foul on doug

but i gotta ask, it's my task,

why you spending your time on unworthy girls?

children in the mind

are you one too?

ladies i understand that men hoes too

some people just hoe hearted

attitude stank like it farted

consumption on the mind

karma sutra suitors using lies as their twine

but in time, i hope yall find, hoes aint shit.

life got plenty fiber if you living and aint just existing

learning, looking, and quiet as you listen.

a still tongue is where it's won.

unless you confessing you learned your lesson

not only asking for but claiming and counting your blessings

addressing all they hate, but focusing on the growth

this aint for the choir to sing over, this one here for the hoes

the hoe ass men who burning women's bridges to trust the next

hoe hearted women kissing on another's husband's neck

planning and knowing it home wrecks.

being a hoe aint bout shit, it's nothing but a life of regrets.

hoes can be healed..

with just a lil

self love

and self respect.

next time you wana be sure, take your money and bet

hoes aint shit but wasted time and regret.

see space hill

maybe if i were greater i could make it past your make up

find a space in your heart to take up

i used to talk to myself for comfort

but i gave that burden to my maker

the power of prayer doesn't elude me

probably what made you easy to see

easier to like

a privilege to dream of resting my body at night

minus my heart

it beats for you

my future, too many dreams deferred

your manifestation, then me letting you escapes absurd

beyond words

could be why i offer silence instead

scared of fucking it all up over something i said

something i did

maybe it's all the didn't's that's my fixing

undoing me like tides' lingering touches on the beaches' hides where i scribe

working against me like it got something to hide but seek and ye shall find

a beating heart

a work of art

vexing perfection, minus your smile

you came this far, i'm asking you stay a while

stick with me for a couple miles

stick with me for just a few years

growing

growing closer conquering fears

come, let me whisper my deepest desires to ya ears

you do the same, i won't promise, but i'll stray you from tears

i care about, without a doubt, how i talk to my rib

and if all else fails, blast love grind every day that you live

i just wana chill...

morning, noon, night, and thought

the sun, upon rising, hopes to compete

with golden kisses as its fleet

round and rotund, exuding hope

knowing better all the while

despair, replaces its hope

and best that which, to me, is best

that thing you do that leaves me vexed

i ponder and wonder, and think until no end

if the effect, being a smile, with me begins

infinite bliss

all can be fixed

weights of the world removed when you do this...

the height to which the rises reach

fall short with me, frail and meek

the best at noon-day, the apex of

an infinite solution to the problems of my world

proud and honorable, integrity intact

an overdosed measurement is exact

genuine like a child

longer than country miles

if it were to be faked

... ignorance is bliss

enlightenment passed over, for denial

conceding to its better, settling for setting

its myriad of colors, hues, and shadings

begets begetting

and if planned upon the perfect setting

for exhibitions of intent

informing, letting, being, seeing

hearing, leaving

a smile...

nay,

your smile to me is perfect

these, words so worthless

but the why behind

more than worth it

i, as the sun, try and try

to match your smile

only to, one day, realize

the flawless has none at either side

like the sun i try and try

set to rest, quiet as most night skies

but behold, i peer

a glinting twinkle

a sliver of hope, divine and single

something to clutch

a chance again

to rise and compete

until time decides no longer to lend...

cause unknown, effect presented

none can contend.

if i'm losing, i'll do it a lil better

dear future

i know we don't talk much

i'm always rapping and hoo-blah

and hanging out with such and such

locked inside the music

honing skills to make you laugh

put words together in a way hoping they will last

i hope it's half full if we're talking bout the glass

i look and see enough plus extra every time i glance

no longer talking bout the glass but everything with class

if i recall you're half naked, you try, that's all i ask

naw, you aint the smoothest but to me you are the coolest

when it comes to being beautiful it's like they need schooling

a cut above the rest

a completely different level

let me stop and ask, is this letter even helping?

oh well, if i'm losing, i'll do it a lil better

sincerely ...

a bit of you

may my heart freeze you in love and reflect infinite bliss

so that i know perfection exists

if not factual then actual

showing me what i see in you but more importantly what i feel in me

i pray that you are of him

if not i'll admire from afar

i met you in a dream

a glimpse of hope, glinting, from the tail of a shooting star

is just some of what you so vastly are