touch me tease me...

you say you scared
but i'm aware
that when you needed him he wasn't there
and now you can't care about me
you should know i'm in deep
and the climbing's to steep
yet i feel you like you beneath me in the bed
i kiss your forehead
but it's all in my head
like santa riding an open sled
i'm red
mostly embarassed but a lil tipsy
denyin that you not here with me
grabbing and kissing body parts
you're perfection as living art
exactly what picasso sought
cupid got me through the heart

i just got what i was asking for which is more of you. i understand that was a big step for you and i really appreciate it. so i'm sitting here marinating on that and it's doing me no good at all. i'm just thinking of beautiful words that sound nice but that's all. i don't know if we are going or coming and i'll elaborate when i'm able to think better

... guilty pleasure

let me seek you out and lay my warm hands upon you
taking my time to carress every curve sculpted into the living art that is your body
may my passion reach your soul when our lips meet
and may your satisfaction display itself in the form of your heart skipping a beat
allow me to tame your every desire
and don't be scared to reply when i inquire what your happiness requires
inkwell, doug j.; titles, i have several
but you may call me your guilty pleasure

i know it might need some work but i just kinda thought of it when i thought about that milky way commercial... might step the metaphors up or scap it all together.

A.R.AN. #3

i'm sitting here thinking about common's punch drunk love and kanye's say you will. don't know why, been thinking a lil lately about a lot of things going on in my life right now. My aunt died early last friday morning and her funeral is set for saturday 11 pm... she was like a mom to me and i think the hardest part is gonna be the fact that i will never hear her telling me "our story" and i'm really gonna miss her teasing me. i try not to be sad because she was the complet opposite and would always find a way to make me smile. she loved this maple based candy called goodies... and they were delicious, might go coupe a pack today to cheer my self up.

on a completely different note, i've been thinking and i have a question... am i supposed to be demoliton man? am i supposed to tear down these walls and go find a rare treasure? i've always taken things at face value even though i ponder and think in an analytical manner. just a thought that hit me when i was listening to that kanye just now. if confidence=swag then i thnk i'm sub par right now. it seems like i can't get anything right right now. i just feel like i'm doing everything the hard way and it's frustrating because i can't put my hands on the root of the problem.

Kanye & Doug J.

i've never heard 808 and heartbreaks so i'm just gonna listen to it and see what i come up with. i'm not sure if anybody will like/appreciate it but i'm just gonna keep it real and say what ever i'm feeling or thinking. don't be afraid if it aint all good cause nothing ever is.

say you will
the very first words on the track brings back a memory of me sitting on lb's sofa and you telling me you want to live in mobile... threw me off, and i feel like kanye, i wish it would come true and i fantasize about you. i feel like there shouldn't be a lot of talk between us because enough if not too much has already been said. am i love... i don't think so. i'm just engulfed in the intricate complexities that is you. nothing excites me more than an intelligent mind wrapped in beauty. but flattery gets you no where at all, actions get more results...

welcome to heartbreak
wow! this shit is sad! i want to have a great life, but i would much rather share it with a wife. at least a girlfriend. someone i can have more than a friendship with because i'm satisfied in that area of my life. i have friends galore! i have really good friends, both male and female. some i can tell my biggest secrets and some i can't. some i can talk about sex with, some i can not. some i can tell my flaws too and they'll keep it real and tell me exactly where i be messing up and others who will try to make me seem cool anyway. i know i'm cool because i'm real, so i prefer that they keep it real. i've always wanted a girlfriend but it's just the fact that i don't like bs and that slows my reaching out to females, especially when i see something i don't like. I always try to let the good outshine the bad but sometimes they won't let it. Like right now i got my homies blowed about who i don't like anymore... they thought i was playing or exaggerating, but i'm really not. Heartbreak is unavoidable, but when i see it coming i always go heads up with it... i never cross teh street, i never hurdle, i never juke... i'm stronger than it is and everyone isn't so let someone else see what they're capable of though me... why not?

heartless
did i loose my soul to a heartless woman... no. a friend, but that's old news. to keep it real, that whole event shapped me into who i am right now. i will never be heartless but i think i'm bout to put up walls. just to make it worse, i'm gonna put up bullet proof glass, unbreakable but you can see everything behind it... i think i'm bout to get into torture so to speak. and when you and someone you like aint clicking it's frustating and irritating... TELL ME ANYTHING... that just popped into my head for some unkown reason! to answer kanye: i can be heartless because ignoring my conscience is something i've been working on for a while now

amazing
it's amazing that when i look in the mirror i am looking for answers to questions that no one has ever asked. but i'd like them to be asked and to be wanted to be asked because some one cares enough to ask. i have an ego but it's not like you would think. i want to know that people care that my mom is feeling good, or my granny is still mugging and ignoring everybody who comes through the door. that my dad still whistles strange tunes in odd pitches. that wayne is still wayne and that johnny still gives everybody a hard time. that you might not ever meet wanda and that we can always get a drink at renee's house! that i can cook better than your moms, and i can bake almost as good as your grandma! that i can write silky smoothe poetry and even fables. that i know of john donne, robert frost, and milton too. that shakespere was a genius even if i don't like reading his works... i want you to know that you are trying to get to know me and won't try to change me even if you don't like some things about me..

love lockdown
kanye said it... we're just wasting time, where's the finish line.... you keep your love lock down and you loose... you choose. you can actually break this song down how ever you like... but kanye pretty much covered us but i wish it wasn't true

paranoid
why are you? everyone aint out to hurt you or let you down. why all the walls? i'm not sure if i'm tougher than them, then again i don't pick fights with walls... i let them stand, and i leave them alone. so much is flooding back to my mind... so very contradictory are the things i'm revisiting right now.

robocop
the name reminds me of that old movie where the killed that cop and they brought him back as a robot... he never gave up on his passion and it seemed like the deck was always stacked against him but he always made a way out of no way. even when he seemed obsolete he was able to win. and as far as the lyrics i don't want a robocop and you're no robocop. do you and i'ma do me maybe we'll be doing our own thing together one day but you making the whole give up thing really easy right now and i was serious as a heartbeat if we keep ending up back here.

street lights
just let me know if the walls are meant to be broken... there was a hint of glass cracking and you're brave for that (too much left to the imagination).

badnews
... moving on to the next track

see you in my nightmares
do people have the right to fight for those who aren't even indicating that they want to be won? i think about it all the time but i still make time to prepare for the fight. when ever, where ever... if i feel like they're worth it but even people like me get tired of stuggling with no results. i never want to see you in my nightmares because then its time to let you go. almost 6 months later and less than half the fire... is this a nightmare? or just a wake up call?

coldest winter
oh yes it tis! its 8 hours away... i've lost sleep. will this be the coldest winter ever... why do i even think about it? or you? it eludes me. it really does. this was a broken play action to the streaking receiver but why don't i throw it away. i'm not match for your defenses... so i'm left holding the ball at a really bad time but...

pinochio story
i don't wanna be a real boy because i'm a real man! if only pinochio had parents like mine...